Bob's Big Beef Stew

Ingredients

750g shin of beef or stewing steak

500g small onions, sliced

40g dripping

1 tbsp flour

900ml hot water

salt and freshly ground pepper

500g carrots, halved lengthways

3 sticks of celery, chopped

250g swede, chopped

1 bay leaf


Method

1. Remove any gristle and surplus fat from the meat and trim into neat 4cm/1½in cubes.

2. Fry the meat and onions in the dripping until lightly browned all over. Sprinkle in the flour and mix well. Gradually stir in the water and continue stirring until it boils. Season to taste.

3. Cover and simmer very gently for 1 hour. Then add the carrots, celery, swede and bay leaf and simmer for a further hour.

4. Watch the latest Denzel Washington DVD that you rented earlier that day.

5. As the film reaches it's shattering conclusion, leap up and utter a scream of frustration.

6. Rush into the kitchen, open the window to allow the stench of burning food to escape.

7. Throw the pan with the thick black encrustation into the bin.

8. Order an Indian takeaway.