Mama Rosita's Enchiladas

Ingredients

½ large onion

1 green chilli pepper, chopped

1 tbsp tomato puree

1 packet Mexican seasoning (Old El Paso, Discovery)

200g cooked chicken breasts

1 pack flour tortillas

¾ tbsp corn flour

400 ml milk

spoonful of butter

120g grated mature cheddar cheese (for sauce and topping)

salt and pepper

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180°c.

2. Precook chicken, place the chicken breasts on a baking try and bake at 180°C for 20 minutes. The chicken is cooked when the breast is white throughout. Leave to cool.

3. Tear the chicken into thin strips.

4. Fry onions, add chilli, tomato, seasoning and chicken, stir until all coated. Place in the tortillas and roll, then place in an oven proof dish.

5. Make cheese sauce by putting the corn flour, milk, butter, most of the cheese, salt and pepper into a bowl and mixing.

6. Pour the cheese sauce over the enchiladas and sprinkle with cheese. Place in the oven at 180°C for 25 minutes.

7. While it’s cooking browse through the latest copy of “Nuts”.

8. When you smell the unpleasant odour of burning cheese, yell loudly and rush into the kitchen.

9. Grab the dish from which the thick, black smoke is issuing and throw it into the bin.

10. Go for a kebab.

Bob's Big Beef Stew

Ingredients

750g shin of beef or stewing steak

500g small onions, sliced

40g dripping

1 tbsp flour

900ml hot water

salt and freshly ground pepper

500g carrots, halved lengthways

3 sticks of celery, chopped

250g swede, chopped

1 bay leaf


Method

1. Remove any gristle and surplus fat from the meat and trim into neat 4cm/1½in cubes.

2. Fry the meat and onions in the dripping until lightly browned all over. Sprinkle in the flour and mix well. Gradually stir in the water and continue stirring until it boils. Season to taste.

3. Cover and simmer very gently for 1 hour. Then add the carrots, celery, swede and bay leaf and simmer for a further hour.

4. Watch the latest Denzel Washington DVD that you rented earlier that day.

5. As the film reaches it's shattering conclusion, leap up and utter a scream of frustration.

6. Rush into the kitchen, open the window to allow the stench of burning food to escape.

7. Throw the pan with the thick black encrustation into the bin.

8. Order an Indian takeaway.